When One Is Holding A Hammer ... Part 2 - by DavidXYu

When I first learned about attachment theory, it was because I had a nail in need of a hammer. I was fresh out of a relationship, and I was confused as to why it didn’t work out. A nagging suspicion was forming that all of my relationships were sharing some disturbingly similar pattern. A respected instructor described Attachment Theory in a workshop as something they were thinking about and immediately I knew I had found my hammer. Of course. It was so obvious. I was avoidant in relationships and it explained everything! Naturally, there’s nothing quite like the motivation to better understand the theory that feels like it will “explain everything”. I poured over the texts and I latched onto the experts. “Explain to me how! Explain to me why!” I inquired. And explained they did. Pieces slotted together. More and more behaviors started to make sense. Not just mine, but other people’s. My parents did such and such because they had these attachment patterns. My friends had challenges in

When I first learned about attachment theory, it was because I had a nail in need of a hammer. I was fresh out of a relationship, and I was confused as to why it didn’t work out. A nagging suspicion was forming that all of my relationships were sharing some disturbingly similar pattern. A respected instructor described Attachment Theory in a workshop as something they were thinking about and immediately I knew I had found my hammer. Of course. It was so obvious. I was avoidant in relationships and it explained everything! Naturally, there’s nothing quite like the motivation to better understan