who do you go to for advice? - by Ava - bookbear express

HOUSEKEEPING: We’re doing a version of Bookbear Express matchmaking that pairs people based on their three favorite Substacks. It’s free, you should participate, and you can fill it out here :) Check out the site, Sam made it and I think it’s very cute!! The idea that I’m the “average of the five people I spend the most time with” feels self-aggrandizing. I think my friends are discernibly better than I am, and that means I’m doing something right. The people I love most are wildly smart, but they also have a moral character that I aspire to—I see them being kind and forgiving at the exact moments I’m tempted to be snarky and mean. As a matchmaker, people often articulate to me their desire for a partner whose judgment they trust. It’s easy to know what you’re looking for when you trust your friends, and the way they make decisions big and small. I’ve learned that it’s impossible to be truly intimate with someone when you’re privately judging their decisions while politely nodding alon

HOUSEKEEPING: We’re doing a version of Bookbear Express matchmaking that pairs people based on their three favorite Substacks. It’s free, you should participate, and you can fill it out here :) Check out the site, Sam made it and I think it’s very cute!! The idea that I’m the “average of the five people I spend the most time with” feels self-aggrandizing. I think my friends are discernibly better than I am, and that means I’m doing something right. The people I love most are wildly smart, but they also have a moral character that I aspire to—I see them being kind and forgiving at the exact mom