authenticity

every semester, i tell myself that i want to accomplish something personally meaningful, like starting a community, developing myself, building a project, etc. but then, the semester flies by, i look back, and realize that once again, i haven't actually done anything. every semester feels so productive: i work a few dozen hours a week, grinding through technical material that, well, i may as well never use again. i constantly mirage myself with the illusion of productivity, of accomplishments, of successes. i blindly chase social signals of success, deluding myself with naive self-confidence: good grades, job offers, publications infusing into me slight tinges of self-assurance. it's those little dopamine hits that have spoiled me, preventing me from seeing the real picture: that really, i haven't really accomplished anything that i've wanted to. it's so easy to just feel like you're doing things on a day to day basis without remembering the real picture of what you really wanted. real

saved by

• Jaclyn
• Kun Zhu
• Shaahana Naufal