fantasy - by Elaine - manners & mystery

A big part of my early thirties has been about learning which ladders I have no interest in climbing and accepting the shift in identity that comes with this realization. Next to the corporate ladder is the relationship ladder, with milestones like become exclusive, move in together, open a joint bank account, get married, have kids. The two enable each other, promising the vaunted security of liberal capitalism: your corporate job provides for your family, and your family compels you to work harder at your job so you can earn a bigger paycheck. When M and I first started dating in 2019, we took our time moving from one rung of the relationship ladder to the next, but the higher we inched toward the top, the shakier it felt. At the time, it didn’t occur to me that the ladder itself might be the problem. Like many couples living together for the first time and struggling to adapt to a shared lifestyle, we thought the problem was us. So nine months after signing our first lease and movin

A big part of my early thirties has been about learning which ladders I have no interest in climbing and accepting the shift in identity that comes with this realization. Next to the corporate ladder is the relationship ladder, with milestones like become exclusive, move in together, open a joint bank account, get married, have kids. The two enable each other, promising the vaunted security of liberal capitalism: your corporate job provides for your family, and your family compels you to work harder at your job so you can earn a bigger paycheck. When M and I first started dating in 2019, we to