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What I'm looking for in my marriage - by Sasha Chapin

sashachapin.substack.com · 1,696 words · saved by 1 readers

Often, I hear polyamorous friends criticize unreflective monogamy. From a monogamous perspective, I agree with them! By default, people in our society are bad at committed relationships. The cultural instruction here is typically shoddy, so the average monogamous relationship is not particularly satisfying. And by the way, I include my past self in the population of the ignorant; I would describe most of my previous relationships as unintelligently done, at least on my end. Consciously pursued monogamy is a completely different style of relationship than the thing most of us blunder into. Doing it right is challenging, complex, and utterly beautiful. I also don’t know another reliable way for people to become grownups, outside of extreme options like running an orphanage or something. People often cite child-rearing as the area where maturation happens, and I believe this often occurs, but I have also seen many people reproduce and fail to come to grips with themselves. There’s no one

What I'm looking for in my marriage the ideal of this guy Sasha Chapin Jul 08, 2025 666 42 76 Share Often, I hear polyamorous friends criticize unreflective monogamy. From a monogamous perspective, I agree with them! By default, people in our society are bad at committed relationships. The cultural instruction here is typically shoddy, so the average monogamous relationship is not particularly satisfying. And by the way, I include my past self in the population of the ignorant; I would describe most of my previous relationships as unintelligently done, at least on my end. Consciously pursued m

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