when the vision isn’t manifesting - by visakan veerasamy
When I started this Substack, I had a compelling romantic vision for what I wanted it to be. I wanted to write ~20 really beautiful “essays about everything”. They would be symphonic and resplendent, each one somehow implying the others, and everyone I admire would admire them in turn for their searing transcendent quality. I had it all worked out in my mind. It was going to be beautiful. But as I approach roughly 2 years of working on them, frustratingly, I have had to come to terms with the emerging reality that I’m probably not ready to manifest this particular vision particularly soon. (I’m always open to the possibility that it could all come together in a startling crackle-boom of a lightning strike, but I’m not counting on it any more.) It feels very much like I’ve been struggling to lift more weight than I can handle, or like I’m playing a video game and trying to beat enemies that are over-levelled for my character right now. Depending on where I’m standing, and what my mood i
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