growing together - by Ava - bookbear express

A while ago N and I were discussing a boy, and I said that he was very different from me in a particular way that seemed like it could cause problems. N said the important question was: Does he want to be more like you? I forget what my reply was, but thinking about it now the question seems very wise. If someone is reasonably good at learning, they can change a lot. But whether they want to change is a different question. I have friends whom I’ve drifted from after they got into relationships where opposite sex friendships were discouraged. This has always made me so sad: it seemed terrible that there could be a rupture between me and someone I loved, especially when it seemed unjustified or unfair. But I’ve come to realize that I don’t need to control, debate, or modify someone else’s value system or relationship to intimacy. Of course I think my value system is correct—that’s why it’s mine. My friends and I have found each other because we have compatible views on relationships—we c

A while ago N and I were discussing a boy, and I said that he was very different from me in a particular way that seemed like it could cause problems. N said the important question was: Does he want to be more like you? I forget what my reply was, but thinking about it now the question seems very wise. If someone is reasonably good at learning, they can change a lot. But whether they want to change is a different question. I have friends whom I’ve drifted from after they got into relationships where opposite sex friendships were discouraged. This has always made me so sad: it seemed terrible t