I've been away, I've been sad, I've been making decisions, I'm going to get better

I’ve wanted to write for a long time but I couldn’t decide on the sort of essay I should write because life since leaving and returning from London has been terrible. Everything has felt unplaceable, mauled by an eviscerating period of psychological immolation within a sightless white static, flanked by bodily afflictions such as chronic nosebleeds which made me fear permanent brain damage and a sudden and aggressive remission of papular eczema afflicting and marking my entire body. The convergence of these happenings congealed into the realisation that I was, once again, isolated, without bearings, pathless and frightened, which sent me into a period of depression, volatile mood changes and binge-eating. This made me gain a moderate amount of weight and has also caused me to term the month of November “My Book Of Jobs”. First Draft Depo is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Upgrade to paid It is lame f

I’ve wanted to write for a long time but I couldn’t decide on the sort of essay I should write because life since leaving and returning from London has been terrible. Everything has felt unplaceable, mauled by an eviscerating period of psychological immolation within a sightless white static, flanked by bodily afflictions such as chronic nosebleeds which made me fear permanent brain damage and a sudden and aggressive remission of papular eczema afflicting and marking my entire body. The convergence of these happenings congealed into the realisation that I was, once again, isolated, without bea