Why Do I Have to Set Reminders to Hang Out With My Friends?

Every Wednesday at 1 p.m., my phone suggests I make some weekend plans. And every time, I feel sheepish, like a kid who can’t manage to tidy her room without being told. I wish I could turn this reminder off, but it works too well. My social intuition is so shitty I need a push notification to remind me I enjoy seeing people. The institutionalizing of my social life was probably a long time coming. I set the reminder because the lose-lose purgatory of both desiring and dreading social plans has become something of an emotional resting state for me — one I’ve spent most of my twenties trying to decode. Unfortunately, after penning several thousands of words on the topic, the only veritable conclusion I’ve drawn I could have done in 15: I like to socialize less than a butterfly, but more than I think I do. After enough time, a simple truth like that becomes more important than its murky impetus. The antisocial butterfly narrative is tired by now. The “charming” idiosyncrasies of introver

Every Wednesday at 1 p.m., my phone suggests I make some weekend plans. And every time, I feel sheepish, like a kid who can’t manage to tidy her room without being told. I wish I could turn this reminder off, but it works too well. My social intuition is so shitty I need a push notification to remind me I enjoy seeing people. The institutionalizing of my social life was probably a long time coming. I set the reminder because the lose-lose purgatory of both desiring and dreading social plans has become something of an emotional resting state for me — one I’ve spent most of my twenties trying to