life hasn't been easy - by nancy - general zuo's chicken

i found this journal entry i wrote last month and read it again today and it hit really hard. this past month was really rough for me. you know when something feels wrong. you feel it in your bones. you feel it with every inch of your body that if you were a kid again you would throw the pen down and get out of there. you might push the feeling aside, wait for it to disappear, but every time it comes back it only comes back stronger. it eats at you. that feeling of dissonance. it severs your brain, it takes over your conscience. when you finally act on it and leave what you hate, the feeling of unshackling is incredible. you feel light like the air, you feel yourself again. you wonder where all the time went and why you stayed. you laugh and cry like you once did, you feel the emotions in your chest come back. also this one there's a distance that i feel with people when i don't feel seen. it comes out in explaining a topic and having to re-explain it more than once. the greater the di

i found this journal entry i wrote last month and read it again today and it hit really hard. this past month was really rough for me. you know when something feels wrong. you feel it in your bones. you feel it with every inch of your body that if you were a kid again you would throw the pen down and get out of there. you might push the feeling aside, wait for it to disappear, but every time it comes back it only comes back stronger. it eats at you. that feeling of dissonance. it severs your brain, it takes over your conscience. when you finally act on it and leave what you hate, the feeling o