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leogao's Shortform — LessWrong

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Comment by leogao - theory: a huge part of having a good social life is just taking social bids whenever they become available. examples of social bids both large and small include: deciding whether to join your friends on a roadtrip; getting to know someone you just met; getting to better know someone you bump into occasionally but usually never talk to; standing in line, seeing something amusing, and having the option to point this out to another stranger in line; saying something funny in a group conversation; following up over text with someone after meeting them; flirting; cold emailing someone on the internet; catching up with a friend. there are a variety of reasons why we might end up not taking social bids. if you don't have the social ability to notice opportunities to take bids, you might miss bids that you could take. if you force yourself to take bids without the requisite social ability, and end up taking bids which you incorrectly believe to exist, you might act in ways that people find weird, and burn potential connections, or intrude on people. if you are really tired or low-bandwidth or depressed or stressed, you will not want to take bids, because taking bids requires quite a lot of activation energy investment. if you are really focused on something else, like a research project, you will not take bids, because they distract your focus. i find that when i make more successful social bids, i feel a greater sense of community and connection, and often feel happier too; and conversely, when i don't, i feel isolated. my most common reason for not making more social bids is often just being super tired or busy. also, i feel like people around you generally mirror the kind of energy you bring to social bids; if you are super enthusiastic and friendly about taking social bids, then other people will also treat your social bids similarly. if you are having an amazing time meeting lots of new cool people, then other people will be more excited to meet you and willing to h

x leogao's Shortform — LessWrong leogao's Shortform by leogao 24th May 2022 AI Alignment Forum 1 min read 1476 7 Ω 3 This is a special post for quick takes by leogao . Only they can create top-level comments. Comments here also appear on the Quick Takes page and All Posts page . Rendering 0 / 1476 comments, sorted by top scoring (show more) Click to highlight new comments since: Today at 12:27 PM Moderation Log More from leogao View more Curated and popular this week 1476 Comments 1476 Comment Permalink leogao 6mo * 112 57 theory: a huge part of having a good social life is just taking social

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