Ambition vs. Ambivalence - by Heather Havrilesky

A friend from LA told me this a few weeks ago. We were talking about how she took big risks when she was young and it paid off. She trusted herself creatively. She dared to do things that no one else was doing. But now the stakes feel much higher, both financially and emotionally. She feels guilty for the mistakes she’s made in the past. She doesn’t want to mess up again. There’s so much weight on her shoulders that she doesn’t feel free to experiment or follow her inspiration. She’s also exhausted when she sees everything her peers do to get ahead. She wants to innovate, to feel inspired, to create something she can get excited about, but most of the time she’s either paralyzed by fear or unnerved by the aggressive online posturing of many others in her industry. Another friend told me a few days ago that she refuses to use social media for self-promotion because it all looks so unappealing to her. She hates the way other writers post endlessly about their latest podcast episodes, wri

A friend from LA told me this a few weeks ago. We were talking about how she took big risks when she was young and it paid off. She trusted herself creatively. She dared to do things that no one else was doing. But now the stakes feel much higher, both financially and emotionally. She feels guilty for the mistakes she’s made in the past. She doesn’t want to mess up again. There’s so much weight on her shoulders that she doesn’t feel free to experiment or follow her inspiration. She’s also exhausted when she sees everything her peers do to get ahead. She wants to innovate, to feel inspired, to