to be loved is to be changed | Matter

I stayed up until 5 AM yesterday, something I never do. I’ve never been good at staying up late in any context. I would take naps during all-nighters even when cramming for midterms. I never enjoyed obliviating myself with alcohol, though sometimes I still did, like that time during sophomore year Halloween when I threw up partially digested pierogis from Veselka all over K’s guest room. But this weekend I’m at an immersive event that mostly occurs after 9 PM. I ran into several friends last night. I didn’t know they’d be there, because I didn’t do any research, but I probably could have guessed. It felt like a metaphor for my entire time in SF: I crawled into bed and considered passing out at 11 PM, but I wandered out at 1 AM and immediately bumped into two people I know. I met both of them through friends years ago, which is pretty much how everything in my life has happened. I enjoy relationships where the unspoken sense of shared context propels you through everything. This is why

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• Zhengwei Ng