The Dangers of Basing Self-worth on Achievement | by Alison E. Berman | Personal Growth | Medium
Parents are told to embed self-confidence and esteem in their children at a young age, though they often instill these qualities through rewarding their children based on external achievements — like getting an A on a test. And so children begin to think that when they perform well, people are happy with them. Red flag. The problem with training self-worth to be a reflection of personal achievement is that it leaves that very individual feeling perpetually incomplete and constantly searching for wholeness. What this means is that we’ve accidentally bred a culture where daily grinding is supposed to fuel self-worth — unfortunately it does not. This is one reason why some of the most successful humans on the planet still feel like they haven’t done enough. The truth is, with this mentality, they never will. In his book, A Fearless Heart, Thupten Jinpa writes a chapter on The High Cost of Low Self-Compassion, where he discusses this dangerous cycle and why it is so challenging to remove o
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