Taylor Swift is not the English teacher she wants you to think she is

I was casually scrolling through Twitter on my lunch break when I saw The Post. It floated ominously at the top of my feed. I’ve seen it eighty seven more times since without ever intentionally seeking it out. Yes, you know the one: the one in which American singer Taylor Swift and American football player Travis Kelce announced their engagement. I was hung up neither on the backdrop of florals and manicured topiary, nor on the sizable ring, but rather on the caption Taylor wrote: “Your English teacher and your gym teacher are getting married *dynamite emoji*” This fascinated me, not only because it is confusing (why would she not be the MUSIC teacher???) but because it strikes at a much deeper truth about the Taylor Swift Industrial Complex: it’s built on complete fabrication. It’s a tale as old as time: a queer kid—sensitive, introspective, a little too cerebral for his own good—eschews the crude, plebeian environment of the cafeteria and spends his lunch periods in the refuge of his

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• Anjali Mathi