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Strange Horizons - Utopia, LOL? By Jamie Wahls, Art by Shel Kahn

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I do all the stuff on the script, all the "Fear Not! You are a welcomed citizen of our Utopia!" stuff while I'm toweling him off. Apparently he's about as good as I am with awkward silence 'cause it's not three seconds before he starts making small talk. "So, how'd you get to be a. . ." He waves his hand. "A Tour Guide To The Future?!" "Yeah." The guy smiles gratefully at me. "I imagine you had a lot of training. . . ?" "None whatsoever!" I chirp. He looks confused. "Allocator chose me because I incidentally have the exact skills and qualifications necessary for this task, and because I had one of the highest enthusiasm scores!" He accepts my extended hand, and steps down from the stasis tube. He coughs. Probably whatever untreatable illness put him in cryo in the first place. "Oh, hang on a second," I say. My uplink with Allocator tells me that the cough was noticed, and nites are inbound to remove some "cancer", which is probably something I should look up. I'm confused and eager to

--> Strange Horizons - Utopia, LOL? By Jamie Wahls, Art by Shel Kahn Fiction Size / / / Utopia, LOL? By: Jamie Wahls Art by: Shel Kahn Issue: 5 June 2017 5025 words Listen to the podcast Content warning: Show warnings This page contains: Disregard for personal autonomy Body transformation Cancer Death/dying "Utopia, LOL" © Rachel Kahn 2017 He's shivering as he emerges from the pod. No surprise, he was frozen for like a billion years. I do all the stuff on the script, all the "Fear Not! You are a welcomed citizen of our Utopia!" stuff while I'm toweling him off. Apparently he's about as good as

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