Asexual, Aromantic, Apatrial - by Ozy Brennan

When I was a teenager, I used to hang out around asexual spaces, because while I’m the opposite of an asexual I and asexual groups were both interested in new ways of seeing relationships and sexuality. Most people I now know use “asexual” as a broad, umbrella term which refers to all kinds of not liking or wanting sex. But at the time the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) used a very strict definition: an asexual was a person who didn’t experience sexual attraction. Asexuals could like orgasms: while some asexuals reported being anorgasmic or having orgasms that felt more like a sneeze, many asexuals felt pleasure when orgasming. Asexuals could have a libido: some noticed a desire for regular orgasms, and even felt irritable or distractable if they didn’t have them. Asexuals could even have partnered sex, to please their partner or because they liked orgasms. Some people asked, well, if you like orgasms and have a libido and have partnered sex, in what sense are you asex

When I was a teenager, I used to hang out around asexual spaces, because while I’m the opposite of an asexual I and asexual groups were both interested in new ways of seeing relationships and sexuality. Most people I now know use “asexual” as a broad, umbrella term which refers to all kinds of not liking or wanting sex. But at the time the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) used a very strict definition: an asexual was a person who didn’t experience sexual attraction. Asexuals could like orgasms: while some asexuals reported being anorgasmic or having orgasms that felt more like a