The Versions of Myself - by Blake Dee - Blake’s Substack

At this moment, I feel like I am barely tethered to my inner child through the meager audio bits of these podcasts I listen to. Anxiety is uncontrollable uncertainty. Stable equilibria exists at every other configuration—certain uncontrollability, controllable uncertainty, and, the most fun, controllable certainty. There’s a bunch of potential characters I could’ve chosen, but I chose the version of myself that ran towards the margins of wherever I was. I think there’s another version of myself that invested really heavily into the people I met here at college. It probably would’ve looked like what Anson Yu is doing with her friends at Waterloo: building communities, gathering friends, and spending all my time trying to build cool stuff with other people. There seems to be a few different ways to win at college, and this is deifnitely one of them. That’s a good reason to be here. But there are a bunch of other ways to win that don’t involve sifting through the people you bump into and

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• Julia