'I Expect Too Much From My Friends!'

You write so beautifully about friendship in all its messiness and I’m hoping that you might have some wisdom to share with me. One of my fiercest desires in life is to have deep, connected friendships with other women, but self-sabotaging behavior is making this impossible. Growing up, I was shy, introverted, highly sensitive, and cerebral. (Still am.) My father died when I was young and I was raised by a mother who was my polar opposite in almost every way — social! outgoing! endlessly energetic! — and always seemed puzzled by me, as if I was impossible to understand. I know that she worried about me and wanted me to be happy, but the message I received growing up is that I (and she) would be happier if I was different, if I could just adjust who I was in order to be more palatable to the people around me. I developed increasing self-consciousness and social anxiety as I moved into my teen years, and often felt that I was fundamentally different and didn’t quite know how to be a typi

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• Majo