dear bear: I take dating more seriously than my peers

I'm a college junior who's never seriously dated anyone. Sometimes I feel like I should be trying harder to go on dates or pursue people even if I don't feel a strong spark, and other times I feel like I shouldn't be so crazy about it, and my person is just out there waiting to be found. This summer I'm going to be in NYC, and the question is looming larger than ever: deliberately seek love, or let the currents of love find me? I'm also torn because I come from a culture where dating is inherently serious -- dating someone publicly is perceived with the same weight as moving in with someone. Meanwhile NYC dating culture is as casual and label-less as it gets. Thoughts on how to love, but not get lost? Hi Bear, I have a lot of opinions on this! First of all, it’s okay to be serious about love. We live in a culture where people in their 20s are often expected to be able to be “chill” about dating. Go on a few dates, maybe even date someone for a few months, and shrug it off if it doesn’t

I'm a college junior who's never seriously dated anyone. Sometimes I feel like I should be trying harder to go on dates or pursue people even if I don't feel a strong spark, and other times I feel like I shouldn't be so crazy about it, and my person is just out there waiting to be found. This summer I'm going to be in NYC, and the question is looming larger than ever: deliberately seek love, or let the currents of love find me? I'm also torn because I come from a culture where dating is inherently serious -- dating someone publicly is perceived with the same weight as moving in with someone. M