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make more pointy friends - carotlyns

carotlyns.substack.com · saved by 1 readers

I refer to friendships as “holistic” or “pointy.” It’s a simplified way to categorize complex relationships, but for the sake of brevity, go along with it. These ideas are also not confined to one-on-one friends, they can be extrapolated to groups. A holistic friend seeks to understand you as a person above all else (hobbies, career, etc.); nothing is off-topic. The closest ones tend to evolve into human encyclopedias and become experts on you. A pointy friendship, on the other hand, is when someone primarily connects with a specific part(s) of you. In today’s media, we’ve emphasized building a community of holistic friendships. It’s no surprise — we seek out connections to fulfil our desire to be seen. Holistic friendships satisfy that to an all-encompassing degree. We want to feel like our friends love and care about us for all of our flaws and interests; to validate and accept us for who we are. This puts “pointy friendships” into a tough spot. If they aren’t a ride or die, then are

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