friction - by Ava - bookbear express

This past weekend J texted me. She broke my heart so badly a few years ago. We had one of those ride-or-die, us-against-the-world friendships. We used to get drunk and eat borscht together. And send each other long emails. It’s hard to imagine recommencing our friendship, though I have tried. I really love her. But she made me feel so unsafe, and I don’t know how to feel safe around her again. D’s been mad at me since last year. Though he would never say that. He would say, I’m just busy! I love you. He loves me, I know it, but the love takes a toll. I was always scared of loving D because he expected so much from me. I kept thinking: when I disappoint you, how will you take it? I haven’t really talked to K since we stopped working together. Even though he was like a brother to me, more than a brother. I think about him all the time. He’s the flipside to everything, the message hidden in the secret lining of the coat. * I fought with B yesterday. And he said: you weaponize your emotion

This past weekend J texted me. She broke my heart so badly a few years ago. We had one of those ride-or-die, us-against-the-world friendships. We used to get drunk and eat borscht together. And send each other long emails. It’s hard to imagine recommencing our friendship, though I have tried. I really love her. But she made me feel so unsafe, and I don’t know how to feel safe around her again. D’s been mad at me since last year. Though he would never say that. He would say, I’m just busy! I love you. He loves me, I know it, but the love takes a toll. I was always scared of loving D because he