friendship - axes & axioms by @katiewav

H brushes it off coolly, disagreeing entirely with the premise of the question: “If I had nothing to talk about with someone, why would I even spend time with them?” I, however, can’t shake the thought for days (this example itself is a testament to how different we are). H trusts his gut, and I’m not even confident that I have one. H considers themselves a romantic, and I, a rationalist. H and I can’t watch a movie together without arguing about the merits of the plot or which character is the hero or the villain. I used to think that those differences actually drove our friendship, that our heated debates about life and love were what added fuel to the fire. Over the years though, those debates have tempered and slowed. Our conversations are calmer now. There are fewer prefaces and disclaimers, we’re more silly and less serious. In his fantastic newsletter The Red Hand Files, Nick Cave offers a framework for how to think about friendships: “First there is the friend who you go out an

H brushes it off coolly, disagreeing entirely with the premise of the question: “If I had nothing to talk about with someone, why would I even spend time with them?” I, however, can’t shake the thought for days (this example itself is a testament to how different we are). H trusts his gut, and I’m not even confident that I have one. H considers themselves a romantic, and I, a rationalist. H and I can’t watch a movie together without arguing about the merits of the plot or which character is the hero or the villain. I used to think that those differences actually drove our friendship, that our