Leaving the Valley - Alan's Blog

This past weekend, my team failed to qualify for the bracket stage of an osu! (rhythm game) tournament. The second time in a row that I failed to qualify and underperformed when the time came. There were no excuses left other than lack of skill (“skill issue”). This was the last straw for me. Frustrated, I slammed my desk and uninstalled osu!... before reinstalling it an hour later again, motivated to get better. Just kidding. The failing to qualify part was true, but my reaction wasn’t. Well, partly - yes, I uninstalled osu!, but no, I didn’t reinstall it, and I have no intention of doing so. When I hit the uninstall button this time, I noticed an empty void of emotion, essentially no motivation to commit to what would’ve previously been the last step in the cycle: reinstalling and returning to pursuing improvement and the notion of “being the best.” I just wanted to be done. The whole experience has still prompted me to reflect on how my mentality has shifted when it comes to approac

This past weekend, my team failed to qualify for the bracket stage of an osu! (rhythm game) tournament. The second time in a row that I failed to qualify and underperformed when the time came. There were no excuses left other than lack of skill (“skill issue”). This was the last straw for me. Frustrated, I slammed my desk and uninstalled osu!... before reinstalling it an hour later again, motivated to get better. Just kidding. The failing to qualify part was true, but my reaction wasn’t. Well, partly - yes, I uninstalled osu!, but no, I didn’t reinstall it, and I have no intention of doing so.