Editing "the buzzing in my head" - Substack

listening to doechii on dissect — she talked about how she started to post one song/rap every day to document her journey and to keep a streak and to believe in herself and not delete what she was posting she ended up forgetting about it some of the songs now made it big when fans found them and ended up also going on her mixtape that won her a grammy so maybe doing these essays in so much vulnerability isn’t that bad after all but i’m not doechii and who knows if i’ll be seen in the way she is do i have it in me to keep facing myself over and over again well i have a 100% track record so far and i trust myself enough — so probably yes but what if i get complacent are my priorities in order should i not be thinking so much about fashion and makeup and self expression i love to collect things and buy things. is that going to get me in trouble am i living on the edge too much in the name of self-expression, am i ruining my future? does “all-in” mean to just do The Thing .. all the time?

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• Aishwarya Khanduja