Milestones - by sophie abromowitz - sophie substack

By age 10 you should have: Long weird hair Thirty five dollars in mostly dimes One awful friend and one closeted friend A rodent An anxiety disorder managed entirely by a disconcerting foreign cartoon By age 20 you should have: No money at all beyond $65 in Sephora credit A pair of white shoes Jaw pain A lot of bracelets A fundamental lie that your friends believe about you A good ex and a bad ex A small stash of horrible cocaine By age 30 you should have: A bunch of tall socks and a bunch of short socks Linen An opinion about peaches vs. apricots Bone fatigue Three generations of towels A lover who is disgusting to you An air conditioner that makes a noise By age 40 you should have: A hole in your soul A really fucked up bike sitting in storage At least five hundred dollars and $75 in Sephora credit A married friend who is clearly waiting to die An advanced degree that makes you sad to think about Membership to a very damp gym Wife By age 50 you should have: More or fewer ribs than yo

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• Casey Manning