Self-Care is an Illusion - by Michelle Jia

Earlier this winter, at a farewell party for my dear friends Z and Z, I found myself in one of those quasi-facilitated conversation circles that seem to spring up like fairy rings in the wake of the post-therapy intelligentsia. The question was, Are you happy in this period of your life? And if not, when were you the happiest? It was a wonderful party question — open enough to allow for evasion, but direct enough to make a case for vulnerability. For the most part, my interlocutors were tender and thoughtful, leaning into their wrists on the couch, eyes rolling up in deep consideration. Some reported — in chirpy tones — that they were, in fact, thriving. This was met with a series of muttered encouragements — Girl, that’s so great! Yas! etc. etc. Some others confided that they had been feeling unsettled lately, citing a series of life disjunctures: fresh apartments, breakups, new jobs. After these admissions a different set of murmurs flowed, low and sympathetic. I sat there immersed i

Earlier this winter, at a farewell party for my dear friends Z and Z, I found myself in one of those quasi-facilitated conversation circles that seem to spring up like fairy rings in the wake of the post-therapy intelligentsia. The question was, Are you happy in this period of your life? And if not, when were you the happiest? It was a wonderful party question — open enough to allow for evasion, but direct enough to make a case for vulnerability. For the most part, my interlocutors were tender and thoughtful, leaning into their wrists on the couch, eyes rolling up in deep consideration. Some r