without the darkness, you would never know the light

I often look back at myself and cringe, which is great because that means I’m learning and growing so much. But in the moments, I feel like I’m doing the best I can. This year was not that. This year, I was doing shit and I knew it. December 2024 was God testing my strength and was the worst I’d felt in conscious memory (since I was about 16). The 4 main things in my life are always work, family, friends and romantic relationships, and each had some crazy shift that month. At the start of the year, I felt like I was going to enter my villain arc. Everyone hates me anyway so might as well. I’m gonna get super rich and jacked and “who cares about other peoples feelings? I gotta look out for number 1” was kind of what was going through my head for a bit. That, coupled with feelings of self-hatred, led me to kind of just… disappear for a few months. Not physically, I still went outside and stuff, but I was just not present the way I normally am. I simultaneously felt like everyone would be

I often look back at myself and cringe, which is great because that means I’m learning and growing so much. But in the moments, I feel like I’m doing the best I can. This year was not that. This year, I was doing shit and I knew it. December 2024 was God testing my strength and was the worst I’d felt in conscious memory (since I was about 16). The 4 main things in my life are always work, family, friends and romantic relationships, and each had some crazy shift that month. At the start of the year, I felt like I was going to enter my villain arc. Everyone hates me anyway so might as well. I’m