boundaries (of others) - by Claire Wang - cold brew blog

Boundaries aren’t just about protecting yourself from others; they’re also about freeing others from worrying about you. I send this to people often! The strongest friendships I have are ones where these notes are known and understood. (If you know what Crocker’s rules are, this is a more general set of rules that I think are more applicable to everyday life.) Everyone talks about setting boundaries with the people around us, but one of the most powerful boundaries anyone’s set with me was the promise that they were able to know themselves. Telling someone that you can express discomfort… that you can say no when you don’t want to do something, is the most powerful thing you can tell someone. This means others won’t keep feeling bad if they ask you to come along to some event or do something, and you do it, so they won’t overthink asking you. This is especially strong in younger/college communities, around things like substance consumption or going to events that not everyone would enj

Boundaries aren’t just about protecting yourself from others; they’re also about freeing others from worrying about you. I send this to people often! The strongest friendships I have are ones where these notes are known and understood. (If you know what Crocker’s rules are, this is a more general set of rules that I think are more applicable to everyday life.) Everyone talks about setting boundaries with the people around us, but one of the most powerful boundaries anyone’s set with me was the promise that they were able to know themselves. Telling someone that you can express discomfort… that