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The Pleasure x Effort Matrix – Syllabus

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One of the most damaging misconceptions I’ve held in my life is what I do for fun. I long harbored the most normal and utterly suffocating conclusion that I was interested in what I was good at and I enjoyed what earned me opportunities. For some people there is real alignment here; it made me want to die. A few years ago, I had a crisis of self in which I realized that the only social affirmation I received was for things I did or produced. I felt accepted by my friends and a community of artists, but that acceptance felt conditional on continuing to “do X” or “be into Y.” I didn’t even like doing what I was being praised for—in some cases it caused chronic pain, or made me lonely, or was too close to my day job, or just felt, honestly, stupid. This was so profoundly depressing to me that I started an internal social experiment: outside of supporting myself financially, I stopped doing or making anything that could qualify as an art practice or technical craft and started just showin

The Pleasure x Effort Matrix – Syllabus The Pleasure x Effort Matrix by Shea Fitzpatrick PREFACE: I HATE WHAT I LIKE, AND I DON’T LIKE ANYTHING One of the most damaging misconceptions I’ve held in my life is what I do for fun. I long harbored the most normal and utterly suffocating conclusion that I was interested in what I was good at and I enjoyed what earned me opportunities. For some people there is real alignment here; it made me want to die. A few years ago, I had a crisis of self in which I realized that the only social affirmation I received was for things I did or produced. I fe

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